Christmas cards, addresses and such.

It's come to my attention that I'm one of the few of my peers who A) owns an address book and B)knows how to use it!  Really?  Maybe I'm just a big dork, but as much as I love sending an email or a text over a phone call, I prefer real mail, for non-urgent/time-sensitive matters.  I could not wait to be old enough to send out my own Christmas cards.  A few years ago I decided that I liked sending and receiving real mail enough that I shouldn't do it once a year.  Then and there I decided to send mail more randomly throughout the year.  I have a basket in my dining room full of (well, it was full---it desperately needs restocking) note cards, thank yous, my address book, stamps, wallets of the kids, and the return address stamp.  There is no schedule or order really.  I can't say "thinking of you card" without hearing Jeff Foxworthy's bit on them..."Dear Earl, I was in the driveway the other day and saw an oil stain that reminded me of your head....." lol  However, sometimes you just think of someone and it's nice to write a note.  Last month I sent a note to my favorite teacher in high school to tell her how I think of her when reading to George, how I can still hear her voice while I read a poem I once competed with.  (No dear, don't sing it it's not a song.)  Sometimes to a friend of my grandparents, a cousin, whoever comes to mind.  Turns out, people like them!:)  I have two pen pals now, go figure.  One man who drives by my house to get to the post office to get my notes....how funny is that?
I think in this age of easy communication, many of us have forgotten to communicate.  That sounds silly now doesn't it?  I think we've become so good at quickly sharing our thoughts that we forget how to develop ideas and summarize events.  I think punctuation and spelling have been thrown out with the dish water.
For the last year I subscribed to the Amish newspaper.  These people know how to write!  Mock their eighth grade education all you want, many "English" eighth graders could not complete these letters.  They also have "showers" for folks who are shut ins, or are ill, downs' teenagers, etc.  Not a shower like we think, not a "hold up" as my grandmother would call it...a shower of cards.  Send note cards, sometimes a scrapbook page shower, and not often, a money shower.  This whole paper is compiled of letters written from a scribe in each district.  They must only write on one page and must summarize the whole week or two since they've last written.  It's amazing what you can learn.  I really miss that paper.  Budget cuts around here included that...and there is no online version of that paper!:)
As far as Christmas cards go, I love sending and receiving them.  This year we switched to a photo post card...far more budget friendly but not quite as much room to write a note.  There was a moment I thought I'd never finish them this year.  It took longer than in years past.  For a second I thought of it almost as a chore, just a task to mark off the list.  Then I started thinking about them more.  What a year it's been!  So many changes in the address book this year!  Mostly wonderful new additions, some new connections, some new addresses, new relationships, new last names, sadly, a few less to include in this year's mailing.  Some grieving families for who no doubt will be suffering through these holidays.  I don't think they should be ignored though.  I think it's still very important to let them know you haven't forgotten.
It's been a great opportunity to reflect on this whirlwind of a year and wonder for a minute what 2012 will bring.
If you're not in the address book and would like to be, drop me your address.  If you would like a tutorial on what an address book is, how to start one and use it....well let me know:)  I, for one, think it would be much more important than the "how to look hot" tutorial on youtube...but sadly, the chances of this one going viral...not so great!:)

Next up: thank you notes and why you should embrace them!:)

Happy writing!  (the kind with a pen...)

Photos

I love photos.  I love to take them.  I love to look at them.  I love to share them.
There are moments I think it's an obsession.  I'll be driving along and in my mind frame something into a photo.  It probably stems back to when I was a child/teen and my father would show me something and say "what's wrong with this picture?"  Often used in marketing displays or a print ad and sometimes upon inspecting an allegedly "clean" room.  Not to say I critique everything.  Ok, I may critique it, but I don't judge.  Mostly I'm critiquing my own work, a recipe, a photo, a home project, a farm project.  Before a party I take photos of the house, and then look at them.  I had a series of about ten photos I took last year before our Christmas party of the beverage area.  Every time I took one I found something different to do in the layout, or flow of the drink situation.  Did anyone else notice?  Of course not.  I didn't do it for anyone else.  This might be why I'm good at raking hay.  (I think much to my husband's surprise)  I'm constantly watching the rows I've already done and checking for consistency and improving technique, then asking questions to see how my part feeds the rest.

Currently, I'm studying the last 5 years of Christmas pics as I will be adding a second subject to them this year, seeing what made the final cut in years past, and in that one year that there really wasn't a great one, why not?  Where should the camera be set?  What angles work best? and so on.

When I'm not taking photos, I am often looking at others.  I think it's my favorite part of facebook.  I love learning about people, places, and lives through photos.  I love watching children grow, families grow, people grow.  I love seeing what someone got from an experience through what they thought was the important shot.  From a technical standpoint I love looking at photos for ideas.  Not that I make a list on a legal pad of what I liked or didn't, I think it's mostly all cataloged in the brain somewhere.  My mother has asked me "do you go in with a list of shots you want?"  Most often, no.  George's newborn shot in the wagon...that was pre-conceptualized...in part.  The "keeper" shot was actually the "practice" shot.  When all was said and done, that was my favorite.  The wagon we had for over ten years, Joey uses it to haul anything and everything around the farm.  The rocking chair we used I found in the adjacent barn.  Even our Christmas photo...this is our sixth year with the same location.  It happened by accident.  We were walking north on Broadway from G Willikers toy store, Joey sat in front of the tree at Adirondack Trust and I took his photo.  It was instantly the Christmas photo.  It's neat to see how he's grown against the same background over the years.
2005 (almost 4)

2010 (almost 9)

Almost hard to believe it's the same kid when you look at them next to each other!  Imagine what this will look like in 2015!  George will be 4...Joey will be almost 14!

Though I'm a purger of "stuff"....photos I keep.  I am looking at one of my Grandmother and Joey when he was maybe 1...great photo, great memories, great wonderfulness.

So please, keep taking pictures and keep sharing them.
Thanks:-)

Thanksgiving

What is Thanksgiving?

According to Merriam Webster: a day appointed to give thanks for divine goodness.

According to our society: a much anticipated event filled with joyful chaos, travel, family, friends, insane amounts of yummy, and yes, thanks.

This Thanksgiving wasn't what I had hoped for.  We had plans to be with my family and friends today that were changed last weekend.  Honestly, I felt like boycotting Thanksgiving.  I planned on taking a brisket out of the freezer and whatever.  

Growing up, Thanksgiving usually sucked.  We never went anywhere, there were no festivities, just another day at home with a parade on tv.  My favorite Thanksgiving ever was in high school when I spent it at my friend Michelle's house.  There was a long table, all her sisters and their hubbys, her brother and his family, gorgeous dishes, roll passing, just...perfect.  It had a sense of celebration and wonderfulness.

I fully believe in creating what you want for your family, your own traditions and legacy.  That's easier said than done.  It's not that we don't have plenty to be thankful for.  We do.  

For the last three years, this being the forth, we've stayed home.  Joey has told me this countless times in the last week, and with extreme disappointment.  I expand the menu, we have desserts, etc.  Other than the fact that it's daylight out when we eat, really not any different then every.other.day.

I cook every day.  I'm one with my kitchen.  I made the entire meal and three desserts relying only on two recipes.  I also believe in using the "good plates" every day.  Why save them?  Might they get chipped? sure.  oh well.  

This morning was boring.  We haven't had tv since June, today was the first day it bugged me.  No parade. 

OK, so I put the turkey in the oven...George down for his nap...work on the roll dough I started yesterday and review the to do list.  It's pretty much done.  I bought into the media's pageantry of chaos and "so much to do" and made half of it yesterday in about three hours.  So what now?  Sweep the floor and watch the dough rise.  Thrilling.

I set the table and made a cheese/pepperoni and cracker tray...man I could do that in my sleep.  

Eventually George woke up from that nap, finally someone to talk to.  Someone excited about Thanksgiving...well, he was rather smiley.  

I was reading books with him when the boys got home a little after two.  He hung out with Daddy and I finished the mashed potatoes and baked the rolls, then moved it all to the table.  Of course George was starving immediately, so I fed him, then I ate as Wayne and Joey did.  Then George gave into the tryptophan, Wayne tried to use the laptop with a defunct trackpad (I found what he wanted on my phone than he typed in the address with a series of "tabs" and "shift-tabs"...it was great) and Joey cleaned up the food.

A little while later we had dessert....and barely put a dent in it.  

Wayne cuddled with the dog, I pulled up a new cell phone on verizon's website to show him.  Joey played with his legos.  Eventually they went back to the farm, I ordered our new phones, and boiled the remainder of the turkey and attacked the dishes.  

I wouldn't say it was a bad day...I'm glad to be surrounded by my boys, have a roof over their heads and the ability to feed them.  I certainly don't mind "all that cooking"...maybe I just need to feed more people.

Am I thankful?  Absolutely.  Did I have four bonus hours with Wayne, sure did.  

I wonder what next year will bring?  Certainly more thanks...maybe some celebration.

The one about writing and kitchen goodness!

Let me begin by saying, "wow."  I had no idea people actually read this.  It is almost strange to hear someone tell you they are going to make this or that, or share their story based on one of mine all the while thinking "when did I tell them that?"  Oh the blog that nobody reads.  I write for me.  I have always loved to write about things I like.  I think written communication is becoming a lost art.  I recently read an email from a teacher, a TEACHER in a professional situation, that lacked capitals, punctuation, and grammar.  I am far from a perfect writer.  I proof read texts but I know I still miss things.  I'm a spelling freak.  I hate misspelling.  I understand typos.  I hate misspelling.  I picked up a local advertising paper type thing a few weeks ago.  Clearly they will "create an ad for you" as the misspellings were rampant throughout the publication.  When reading the editor's commentary I had to put it down, I could not get through another "to" instead of "too" or one more misused apostrophe.  Okay, vent over.  (It may come back in a blog of it's own some day.)
I have a lot of thoughts.  Some I share and many I don't.  I think that since my accident some part of the brain is jumbled and when I think something, as random as it may be, I put it into sentence structure.  Then I want to write it.  Often times I text the thought to someone who may care, sometimes I post it on facebook, sometimes I blog it, many times it just floats around in my head.  Some things I'm great at writing about, but awful at sharing with a person.  I am really bad at chatting on the phone, I get distracted.  I also have a bunch of email drafts on my phone I've never sent to anyone but I needed to process some things in my head so I wrote them.
So if there are days that I am crazily updating my stati (I don't like the word "statuses"...I'll go back to Latin, thank you) please understand that this is only 1/2% of what I could have posted:)  I also don't talk to people in real life other than Wayne most days.  So writing thoughts somewhere is usually the only way they get somewhere.
I haven't blogged in weeks.  I could currently write an incoherent book with all of the sentences floating in my head.  Some with a common theme, many are random.
Seeing as how I do have a house to stay on top of today and that I haven't gotten the mail in days this will be as inclusive and brief as possible...if that is possible.


Yogurt.  Make it.  It's easy.
When I'm not writing or creating sentences between my ears I'm researching something.  I have researched yogurt recipes on top of yogurt recipes.  I think I am on batch six now, tweaked each time of course.

1/2gallon of milk
Heat over low temp to 180 degrees, stirring frequently to prevent scalding.
(As much as I love the idea of raw milk yogurt, it is runnier.  This is because the good enzymes in the raw milk are competing with the yogurt cultures so that they don't have as much room to grow.  Yes you can add pectin and/or milk powder to the raw milk yogurt for increased consistency, but I'm not really a big fan of additives especially when feeding a four month old.)
Remove from heat and cool to 110 degrees.
While this is cooling, put 1/2c of yogurt from the store or a previous batch in each of two quart size mason jars, along with a tablespoon of sugar.
When milk is at 110, pour into mason jars.
Cover these and turn over gently to incorporate yogurt into milk.
Do not shake vigorously as you can kill cultures.
Now, keep at 100-115degrees for 8-10 hours.
How?  Well there are a myriad of ways.  There is the crock pot way which I found inconsistent though some swear by it.  There is also a heating pad method, and even a heating pad and a crockpot method.  Not to be confused with the 100 watt bulb in an empty drawer or the oven light or the styrofoam cooler.  I'm a geek.  I like numbers, consistency, reliability.  I've begun to use my "warming drawer" on our oven.  Who knew it would come in so handy.  While many individual warming drawers have a digital thermostat you can set, mine has three settings: low, medium and high.  Reread "I'm a geek."  Even when chatting with my favorite appliance guru (see Adirondack Appliance for all your appliance needs, real people real service.) and half an hour on google I couln't get the stats on my warming drawer temps.  I start on medium for the pre-heat, then drop to low for the remainder.
As tempted as you will be to play with it immediately, don't.  Put it in the fridge and leave it alone.  If you can stand it, another 8-10 hours is superb.
Then enjoy. Plain (as G does) mix in jam, oreo cookie crumbs, fruit, granola, vanilla are all awesome.  Subject to your palette.


Pizza...I did it, finally, I made pizza that wasn't gross, hard, chewy, or just a hold-over until we got "real pizza" again...this IS real pizza.

So easy my sister, who has mastered rice and....that's about it, can make it.  (mostly:)

12 oz warm water
1 Tablespoon of yeast
2Tablespoons of sugar.
Mix, then leave alonfor 5 minutes.

In large bowl mix 3 1/2c of Unbleached King Arthur Bread Flour and the yeast/water.  By mix I mean take off your rings and mix.  Go dough hook on your dough:) I find a sweeping motion then a fist into the dough incorporates this well.  It will be combined, but not perfectly smooth.
Let sit 10-15 minutes.
Preheat oven to 500 degrees.
Melt 4Tablespoons of butter in a dish (you should remove the wax paper first....MJ) then add about 2-3tsp of garlic salt.  Paint the pizza screen with the butter.  (go to a restaurant supply store for pizza pans...$3-4 tops.)
Dust your counter with flour and plop the dough on the counter.  Knead for a few minutes until smooth (you'll know when, just keep going...it will turn quickly to pretty and smooth.)
Spread some cornmeal on the counter and roll out your dough.  Don't be gentle, this is no pastry crust, this is  pizza.  Put some umpf behind that rolling pin.  I've also gotten to the point where I will pick it up and put a fist in the middle and let it hang and stretch itself a little.
Spread on the pan.
Trim the edges with a small sharp knife to make round (DO NOT THROW OUT SCRAPS!)
Add sauce to the center and swirl around with the bottom of the ladle.  You do not need a lot, at all.
Add cheese/toppings as you choose.
Paint the edge of the crust with the garlic butter.
Put in the oven on the middle shelf.
I use convection at 500 degrees.  It takes about 8-10 minutes (I think, I just watch it:)
After that goes in, it's time to transform the scraps into garlic knots!
Cut the dough into smallish pieces and roll into ropes about 1/2" thick and 3-4" long.  Dip in the garlic butter than tie in a knot.  Put these on a second tray.  I cook these on the rack above the pizza.
When all is golden, remove from oven.  Cool the pizza about 8 minutes so that your cheese will stay put when cut and of course you won't burn yourself!:)  Serve with some sauce for dipping the knots.

Ketchup.
We're out.  I already spent the grocery money for the month, time to be resourceful.

18oz tomato paste
28oz crushed tomatoes
3/4c vinegar
3/4c sugar
Dash of cinnamon
Dash of Garlic salt
Dash of Onion Powder

Simmer 20-30 mins.

Cool.

Eat.

Yummy!  I made this right before lunch.  I wanted some with our leftover roasted red potatoes, so I put a little in a pyrex and threw it in the freezer to chill.  I really liked it, hope the boys do too!  Made about 36oz.
In the future I would like to substitute molasses for the sugar...we'll see how that goes:)
OK....I really need to fold some clothes and clean the kitchen before this nap is over!

Apple Fritters

Ever read a status on fb that makes your mouth water?  Special thanks to MaryEllen Naughton for inspiring this recipe:)  Originally an Amish recipe that I tweaked a little.

5-6 medium-large apples, peeled and cored...then sliced about 3/8" thick.
1c flour
2 Tbsp Sugar
scant 1c milk
1 1/2tsp baking powder
1/2tsp salt
1 egg

Once apples are prepped set to the side.
Combine dry ingredients.  Beat egg into milk, then add to dry.
Mix well.
Heat about 1" oil in frying pan.
Dip the apple slices into batter and coat well.  Put a batch into the hot oil, until brown, then turn over until brown on second side.
Serve warm, sprinkled with powdered sugar if desired.
Makes about 24 fritters.

ooh its so good:)

A year ago today...

OK, for most people this would be really weird to share.  OK...well...it's even a little weird for me.
A year ago today an amazing Dr gave George a shot at coming into this world:)  Well, George and potentially 10 siblings!  (can you imagine??) Eleven juevos were retrieved, eight were mature and then fertilized and left to "do their thing"...six continued to grow...three made it through genetic testing to make sure they had good shots at growing.  One was abnormal (could mean a million different things), one boy and one girl.  A year minus five days ago the boy and girl were put back into the baby grower...and we know who stuck!:)
Sometimes I wonder what twins would have been like...some days I can't imagine reading twice as many stories!:) lol  At the time I was really hoping for at least two extra "embabies" to freeze and do another round with in the future.  God had His plan.  So glad He gave us George....and I think George is pretty happy to be here:)  (though sometimes...I think he thinks he's one already....)

Broccoli Cheddar Soup

I'm a big fan of Broccoli Cheddar Soup, as are the boys.  It took me MANY trials before I finally found a great recipe to recreate restaurant style Broccoli Cheddar at home.  I shall share and save the rest of you a lot of time experimenting:)

3c water
1T Chicken Base (can use 3 bullion cubes, but I find a much better flavor with the Base)
4 medium potatoes, peeled & diced (spoon friendly sizes)
1 medium onion, chopped
6-8 cups of broccoli (cut, but not minute--they will break up some in the cooking process)
1/3c butter
1/3c flour
3 1/2c milk (whole is best, 2% will suffice)
4c grated sharp cheddar cheese

Combine water and base in a large saucepan and bring to boil.  Add vegetables and simmer until tender.
Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat, add flour and whisk until combined.  Cook for one minute.  SLOWLY add milk.  I find it best to add about half a cup and whisk until it is incorporated completely at the start.  Once all of the milk is added let cook, stirring constantly, until thickened.  Don't rush this process, you will know when:)  Turn off burner and add cheese.  Stir until consistent in color.  Add sauce to vegeatables and stir.  Let combine and warm, but do not boil, for a few minutes.  Serve & Enjoy!

This recipe gives five to six "good" servings, worthy of a meal when combined with a simple sandwich for even the hungriest of farmers.

When heating up leftovers, add a little milk and stir:)

Spew

Newborns don't come with an instruction manual.  Sure there are a gazillion books about what you could expect, there are weekly emails to say "this is what your baby will do in the next seven days" and there are well meaning friends and relatives.  Then there are babies.  No two are alike.  Some meet those milestones when the email says they will, some do it a little later, some a lot later, and some months before the email is sent.   George falls into that last category.  He's not following one single book, email, or his big brother.
At four weeks he started rolling over, at five weeks he had a tooth, at ten weeks a second.  He loves story time and now holds the books.  He pulls toys off his toy bar.  Sits pretty well when slightly supported.  etc etc...
This is not about what he can do.  It's about what he can't.
George is a spewer.  In the nicest way I can describe this, until Monday every liquid he's been given comes back.  Some quicker than others, but they all came back.  I'm married to a dairy farmer, if spew grossed me out I'd need a new life!:)  This isn't your normal run of the mill spit up...no sir.  This is spew.  It creates puddles on the floor if you're quick enough to aim him away from you, or puddles in your cleavage if you're not.  (aren't you glad you know that?)  This is not, as his doctor and I discussed, merely a "laundry issue" this is serious.
It's been a very fun filled few months trying to get to the root of this.
We started off on the boob.  Which lasted till day 4.  Small mouth.  That's all I'll share.
Started pumping.
The more he drank, the more he spewed.  Must be the green beans.  cut them.  Maybe the broccoli? cut them.  Dairy? cut (not easy, but cut).  So we changed nipples three times, bottles three times and nipples on the new bottles at least twice.  Some seemed to have a little change, but in the end there was still spew.
Off to the Doc for input.  Let's try a soy formula and do an ultrasound on his stomach.  He could have pyloric stenosis (a narrowing of the "emptying tube" from the stomach).  Nope that's clear.  Let him adjust to the soy.  Okay great.
Let's visit the dentist to get that tooth looked at.  Yea sure, a tooth, but also a tongue tie and a tight lip (re-read day 4-small mouth).  In office laser surgery.  Stretching his tongue and lip 4x/day. (Did I mention how strong he is?)  He's now a quieter eater...but it still comes back.
Infant Chiropractic works wonders on reflux issues.  Wonderful.  Let's go.  No adverse reactions, a few visits...maybe a little better? but alas, it comes back.
Somewhere around month two (it's all a blur), I heard that cereal in the bottle can help it stay down.  Game for anything, he needs to eat.  Guess what?  It comes back up thicker.  (Which also required MORE new nipples.)  Hmm.
Google oh google.  "Bottle thickening is bad, if they need it feed it on a spoon"  really?  he's so little?  what about the tongue thrust thing? what about his little digestive system?  what about we were waiting till 6 months?  Oh fine...he's hungry, lets try.  Wouldn't you know...it stays down.  Tongue thrust? what's that?  Non existent in this child.  So once every few days some cereal and applesauce.  On those "extra spewey days"
2 month visit: 14lb 2oz.  Okay, he must be keeping enough of it down.  Just a BIG laundry issue.
Joey's physical over 2 weeks later...under 14lb with a diaper and clothes on.
OK, not laundry.  He's not keeping enough down.  Time to step up the game.
He can't live on rice cereal and applesauce.  So we introduce new foods.  Green beans--not a fan.  Bananas--he would eat them every meal.  Peas, ok with bananas in the right proportion.  Baby oatmeal, fine.   Mommy makes REAL oatmeal finer--super score.  Squash--home run.  OK great, so he's keeping this down, and seems to be growing.  But I think he's eating too much.  Engage hyper-research-nutritionist mode.  That boy needs to cut back on bananas.  (100 cals per 1/2 cup!  and yes, he'd eat 1/2c with 1/2c of oatmeal!)  But, he's too little to go straight solids. PLUS he'll get dehydrated at some point.
What do I do?
So in trying to balance the right vitamins, minerals, calories, fat, etc I read the ingredient label on the soy formula.  Mother of God!  The widely distributed soy formula is made with 55% corn syrup solids!  24% Vegetable oil!  I wouldn't let Joey eat that!  Holy crap!  Why didn't I read this sooner?  Gross.  I suppose I'd spew it too:)  (After chiro, tongue, etc etc, we would introduce the breast milk as there is a great deal in my freezer, but to similar results.)
In all my research there isn't one kid who doesn't tolerate some kind of formula or breast milk.  Mine would be the one.  (For formulas we tried: regular, newborn, fussy/gassy, soy, and hypoallergenic.)
Raw milk.
Really?  Yes.  Many people who are lactose intolerant, can handle raw milk.  Why you ask?  Raw milk is a rather perfect food.  Vitamin for vitamin, calorie for calorie, mineral for mineral on paper it's the same as formula.  In reality, it's not engineered.  The vitamins and minerals are metabolically available.  All of the essential enzymes for building your body, are in milk.  Including the one that breaks down the lactose.  When the milk is pasteurized many of these enzymes are history.
But what about the bacteria?  I'm in a very unique position.  I live with the farmer.  He can tell me if any of the cows are sick, he, his father, or our older son are the ones who clean the teats, the milking system is sanitized twice a day, and the milk comes out of the tank and is driven home.  Actually his first bottle of raw milk was consumed minutes after being released from the tank.  I have no concerns over the product.  If we did, this wouldn't have been an option.
It was free to try.
The first 24 hours I almost stalked that baby waiting for spew.  A little with a burp, and a little when I gave him 8 oz instead of 6ish (mom error).  I will not go into detail, but the output in the diaper has increased significantly.  Proving there's more going in.  His appetite for his "solids meal" is about half.  It's also been reduced to once a day and about 80 calories.
This morning, I dressed him at 8:00...he had a bottle a nap, went in the car and the truck and when Daddy was eating his lunch...he was CLEAN!  Amazing!  Also, far more content.  Actually more alert than he was, which was pretty intense.  Since he's not busy spewing we've had more play time, more attempts at "tummy time" which in reality are "I'll stay on my tummy for a minute or so, but then I'll roll over."
Most importantly he can use this wonderful perfect natural food to grow, he can tolerate his feeds, have an age appropriate amount of variety, and not be dehydrated.  As bonuses, there's less laundry, I don't smell like calf grain, and we're raising him on a wholesome diet.

As a disclaimer: Yes, I think breast is best.  Yes, I'm totally for delaying solids.  (I even bought a non-reclining high chair a year ago.)  No, I don't think this is the answer for everyone, nor for anyone else.  It's just our story of what is working for our child at this moment.  Don't hate, just love:)

On penny pinching and laundry...

Just when I think I have the budget down to the bare bones...sometimes I need to make more cuts. But where? Sometimes it gets a little stressful agonizing over numbers.

Of course that darn electric bill doesn't help any, average of $3.48/day last September...average of $5.00/day this September. If only there were room here for a windmill.

So where do we cut now? How about in the laundry room? I just did that. In June I switched to a new laundry soap called Ecovantage, one small container was $40, but lasted 2 days short of 4 months. Average monthly cost of $10. I don't keep track of how many loads of laundry I do per day/week/month. I would average about eight to ten per week. Let's say 10, times 4.3 (average weeks/month. 43 loads/month times 4 months, 172 loads for $40. 23cents per load. Not bad, and it did a good job of getting both nasty farm clothes and less than desirable baby diapers clean.

I also switched to using Vinegar in the rinse cycle in place of fabric softener. That costs about $2/month. Huge savings there and the clothes do not smell like vinegar:)

So I started researching alternatives, because there are always alternatives. I've seen the episode where the Duggars made their own laundry soap and this is what I stumbled upon when I started researching. As I told Wayne, they have 19 children that always look clean, it's worth a shot. So off I went to gather the ingredients. Borax (I had some, but couldn't remember how much was left/how much I needed), Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda and a bar of Fels Naptha soap. I figured I would check Walmart first and there they were, all lined up next to each other. I must not be the only one in Saratoga County embarking on this adventure. The total spent on these products was $6.50. I repurposed the cat food 5 gallon pail in my house (we're almost out of cat food anyway). I actually made the whole thing while on the phone with my mom, super simple to do. Grate the Fels Naptha--in the food processor, it looked like neon cheddar:) melt that in 4c water on the stove then mix with more water and the powders. If I spend $4 more I can make 4 more batches of this. Which would produce 320 washes per batch. or 1600 washes for $10.50 or 6/10 of one cent per load!!! Holy smokes!

That's great, but does it work? Indeed it does. The diapers are not only clean, but also a lot softer. They are a fleece material inside so this can be attributed to a better rinse/less build up of cleaners. They are also a bit brighter. Wayne brought home, on his person, a really gross pair of pants the other day (he was moving calves...) guess what? they came out clean...well it didn't remove old grease stains, but the pants were clean. As for the smell, they smell clean without being over-perfumed. We're not dealing with any additives, dyes or perfumes. Making it safe for both sensitive skin as well as cloth diaper friendly.

In related news...I love cloth diapers. I'm so glad to not be shelling out $50/month, that I don't have, on diapers (based on sale/coupon prices). Not to mention these are so soft, so cozy, so simple.

and since I'm in cheapista mode...baby food!

Did you know that $1.46 worth of fresh bananas is the equivalent of $10.46 worth of baby food bananas! OMG!!!! Outrageous. If I didn't already have a food processor, do you realize how quick it would be paid for? (best Christmas present ever) I'd go broke in a big hurry feeding this kiddo!:)

Oh, and back to that electric bill. Did you know you have a choice of suppliers in NY? (and some other states also) I researched, we're with the cheapest one...of course:) Worth the investigation however.

Joey's AMAZING Chocolate Chip Cookies

Joey made these super yummy cookies today! Perfect fix for a rainy day!:)

4 1/2c flour

2tsp baking powder

2tsp baking soda

1 1/2 c butter (softened)

1 1/2c brown sugar

1/2c sugar

2 packages (.8 oz) sugar free vanilla pudding (unprepared)

2tsp vanilla

4 eggs

3c chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine flour, baking powder & baking soda. Set aside.

Combine butter, sugars, vanilla and vanilla pudding until smooth and creamy.

Beat in eggs.

Gradually add in flour mixture.

Add chocolate chips.

Drop by teaspoons onto cookie sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes.

Makes about 7 dozen small cookies.

Responsible is kinda boring...

OK, OK....i know I'm a grown up...or should at least act like one. This morning was direct deposit/bill paying morning. I know I should be incredibly thankful to have money to pay the bills...and I am. We're blessed out with a nice home, electric, cable, internet, cells.
Really though, it would have been way more fun to spend the morning at the outlets...
I spend a lot of time getting rid of stuff in my house to keep it neat and organized, and when I shop I really don't go crazy. I usually don't pay full price for anything. I think it's mostly a psychological thing. I'd like to go grocery shopping without adding up our total the whole way through the store to keep it in budget. I'd like to know that I can go bra shopping (something I actually loathe) and still buy gas next week. I think it's more the not worrying IF I can, rather than actually doing it.
Retail therapy was way more fun when all i had was a truck payment and more cash than we bring in combined in a month. (There was a day I walked into Tiffany's with $8,000 in cash in my backpack...and not a bill to pay...)
Don't get me wrong, i totally embrace the fact that I SHOULD pay the bills...and how lovely it is long term. I suppose wondering if the lights will be turned off is worse than wondering if I can blow $100 at the outlets...
There is definitely a fabulous sense of security in paying the bills. It's just not very fun:)
Something tells me that at 30 I should find joy in this...maybe I'm just not there yet. As much as I appreciate spending half an hour clicking away and paying all the bills...I just don't wanna:)
It's not like our bills are crazy...they are pretty much bare bones with added perks like texting:)
There's also a part of me that would love a new car...but there's a bigger part of me that's excited my car payment will be going away in about a year. The baby will be paid for in October. (that sounds so weird) So things will lighten up a little. I'm just stuck here and kinda whining...trying to focus on "yay the bills are paid" and not the "well if I drive 15 miles to save 10 cents a pound on chicken...does it still make sense?"
It would just be a whole different life if we lived on the farm. A $1300 mortgage and a $500/month gas savings...we could save half of it, upgrade to standard cable, and buy all the natural chicken breasts our heart desired...and maybe even hit up a clearance rack here or there...
but...that's out of our control.
So for now I shall try hard to find joy in paid bills...spend an hour reading circulars to find the best chicken price, and not think about how nice a new couch would be.

Possibly an obsession.

FINALLY we had a beautiful day yesterday!:) It's been a long time coming this year...but finally, it IS here. After school Joey and I headed to the library, but it actually killed me to be inside...that's when I knew I couldn't go straight home:) Off to the farm we went to bring the boss man a cold drink. He was busy processing firewood, so I said "I feel like mowing, but it's still a little wet" Joey says "I'll meet you at the shop to grease it up"...ok great. Harmless really:) So there we were greasing it up, checking fluids and filters and reuniting after a long winter. My father-in-law even stopped by to help us get it ready and make sure we found all the grease fittings. With one tank full I certainly couldn't put it back in the barn.

This is the first time in YEARS I've had a mower ready to go when the grass was ready. Before this one, I used a small tractor that doubles as a barn cleaner...getting DH to have the barn all cleaned and then switch it over to the mower (big process) always seemed to take almost a month when you factor in weather and such. Blah. Last year FIL bought this new mower, but not until mid-June...and he would mow mostly his lawn and nothing else. Finally one day I couldn't take it any more and jumped on to figure it out. As they say, it was all down hill from there:) I took command of farm beautification, which...at our place...is an uphill battle to say the least. It took weeks to just knock down the tall stuff enough to make it look semi-manicured....but still clumpy.

So there I was yesterday...no ipod, no funky ear protection (I've decided it's really the quietest mower ever...I can hear my cell ring over it) off to just "give it a try"

There she was, mounting her favorite seat in Saratoga county...the 2010 Kubota Z236 Diesel Zero Turn with 60" mower deck. Oh how I missed that. I think it was mutual:) Over that terrain I know so well, every dip, stray block, areas famous for random baling twine (get that stuck in 3 sets of blades and tell me how that 45mins untangling it is!)

I initially convinced myself that some of the lawn wasn't tall enough yet...but man did it look pretty after. Just that first spring cut to make it look fresh and even. No playing catch-up, no clumps of grass everywhere....just gorgeous lawn. Joey follows behind with his Amish mower, getting in between hay wagons and around equipment.

Well sure enough 2 hours later having mowed about half the farm and not getting stuck in the mud, I reluctantly pulled her back in the barn. Idled her down and told her I'd see her tomorrow.

My OB had told me to sit and sunbathe yesterday and enjoy the sun. Oh that I did doc, that I did. George seemed to tolerate it very well...which is good. The first thing FIL's fiance said when we told her we were pregnant was "Who's going to mow the lawn?" On it.

In early labor...I will be mowing lawn. I'll probably need a week or two off after the baby arrives so the mower deck will be lowered till one the end of June to prepare for the mid-summer-siesta:)

Some day....we will be a dairy of distinction...some day. A girl can dream right?

Well hey...at least the lawn will be pretty.

Why I live with boys...

I'm a crappy girl.

This morning, the boss needed a new deodorant so I was checking the bin in the bathroom closet.

I found three screwdrivers, a lightbulb, a hole punch, two things of makeup all the way on the bottom that have never been used, and some cute hair stuff (ie: hair ties in blue/tan---not black) still in the packaging.

My hairdryer you ask? I do own one (surprised?)...it's downstairs in the workshop because the last time I used it (last August) was to dry some spray glue.

I'm Cliniques worst regular customer. A year ago March I bought a large bottle of clarifying lotion (astringent) and a thing of face moisturizer...and smelly body lotion.

I have about a quarter of the clarifying lotion left, the face moisturizer is almost empty because we both used it on sunburns last year, and the smelly body lotion is almost full.

I haven't worn make-up in 364 days...and I'm so ok with that.

I do have about 5 Alabu lip balms though...no tint or anything, lets not get carried away:)

BUT...I did have on TWO items of pink clothing today...and even bought a not-black shirt this week (slate grey)

I have three bottles of nail polish remover...and no nail polish. Which means, I will get mani/pedis...but know better than to attempt these on my own.

I love my hair dried out cute and straight...but also know better to attempt this on my own...there is some combination of me, a round brush, and long hair that just begs for disaster.

Therefore: I live with boys.

Names I love.

Somehow growing up, we knew who all the cousins were and who they were with. I don't think it was until I did the wedding database that I realized there was so much carry-over. Other than the time we were in Mass for the untimely passing of my cousin and MAM (My Aunt Mary) put all of the hotel rooms in M Naughton...with the exception of 2? Ps? The guy at the desk thought she was nuts...but really...in the 15 or so rooms, they almost all had an M Naughton. I see this as convenient:)

So someone in a "mom's group" was just asking for Irish names for their son...and so I began, well we have a Stephen and a Thomas and a Michael and a Joseph in Ireland...and we have a Stephen and a Michael and a Joseph here...then then there's a Mack and a Patrick and a Joseph...

I continued to write that it's not that confusing, you just do as the Amish and put the parent's name first, ie: Peg's Michael, Helen's Joe. Then I said, oh well there is one Helen with a hubby Joe and a son Joe...oh jaaazzzuuss Mary & Joseph that's both the Helens...

Status Updates..the Amish way.

Before facebook, did I know what anyone was up to? The Amish did.
I subscribe to Die Botschaft...the weekly Amish newspaper. It's a hoot. It is a compilation of letters written in by the scribe in each district/parish with a dusting of awesome advertisements. Need to know where to get a full treadle sewing machine, just let me know!:)
This week's update from Lowville, NY. the town neighboring my mother in law. Ok maybe not a town....but a group of houses on the other side of the hill and within a 15 minute drive to Turning Stone, well, by car.

Lowville, NY
David & Saloma Beiler
March 15, Tuesday
A new day! What an opportunity. And looks to be a lovely one, with the sun out so bright, after the 20 degree morning. I see steam from three sugar camps, which looks to be very thrilling. What nicer way to spent your time than trudging the woods gathering sap. Working with nature! Here it is shop work, and seems no let up there yet. Yesterday we dressed a turkey someone gave us. An old (at least three years!) rooster. I knew people who used to come for old hens to make chicken corn soup. Said old ones have more flavor. Well, I know see that is true. This rooster has a very rich flavor, much more so than fryers.
Sounds like everyone in the area was well and busy. A new arrival in the area was a Henry to Dannie A and Becky Stoltzfus. Bringing their total up to seven. Five boys and two girls. Amos R's of MD and Sammie B's, local are the grands.
Amos and Lydia Hertzler were home over the weekend, (Ammons) am not sure how long they will be here. Also Chris W's Rudy of Path Valley, Pa is here helping is brother in the sugar bush. Greenhouses are started up, and our snow seems to be going the way of all snows. Not that I think anyone is sorry. It is beginning to seem like spring isn't too far off. Although, it does not come in March in the North Country.
My sister writes her lilac bush will soon be in bloom and one patch of daffodils is near. Well, I'm glad we still have that to look forward to; but still kind of makes the heat rise to read such, although I know i could not handle Maryland's heat in the summers. So guess we best bloom where we are planted. Then our glowers will bloom in due time.
Have a good week.

Have you ever heard the word trudging used so positively? :-) It's like "your week in status updates" for all the folks in Lowville. We hear about the new baby, what was for dinner last night, the maple sap, the vising family and the weather. We even get the update from MD included:) Just no pics, digital or otherwise, and the news is a week behind--"amish real time."

I love these people. To follow their lives week by week is truly a look into the lives of their people, a culture so different from our own but really just over the east hill.

"not-chili"

I have a wonderful hubby. He does not have an extensive list of foods he'll eat. I must say it's expanded in the last few years, and HE actually told me something I made a couple months ago was a little bland! whoa! So progress has been made. One thing that he refuses to eat: chili. One of his top 20 things I make: cowgirl beans. I'll share the recipe:)

1lb ground beef
2Tbsp Onion Flakes or 1/2 small onion diced fine (remember...he hates onions:)

1Tbsp of vinegar
1Tbsp of Worcestershire Sauce
8oz Tomato Paste
1/4c BBQ sauce
4 cans of beans (I use 2 pork & beans, 2 baked beans...2 drained 2 not)

Brown the beef and onion. Drain if necessary.

Add the rest of the ingredients and mix well. Turn down the heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes.

It looks like chili to me:) with a bit of a smokier flavor.

We serve over rice, egg noodles or baked potatoes, and usually top with a sprinkle of cheddar

If you need a quick filling meal...thats "not-chili" enjoy Cowgirl beans:)

(If you are feeding a larger group, I have made this with 6 cans of beans without adding more meat. Just up the BBQ a little)

the next best thing to love (the one about PB pancakes---updated!:)

Peanut Butter Pancakes!
While vacationing in Florida @ my parents, we went to Yoder's Amish Restaurant twice. The morning we were leaving we were there for breakfast. I'm pretty sure that NOTHING is a bad choice on that menu. Wayne ordered the Peanut Butter Pie Chocolate Chip Pancakes...write that on a little note pad. It was love at first bite. He was certain my parents would have to send some to him until we were back again. (Why do I have a funny feeling that upon arriving in Sarasota next January, our first stop will be Yoders?) He did let me have a small bite, only because I told him it would be easier to replicate had I eaten them before.
Try I did.
The first attempt...eh...not so great. Edible, but not the same.
Try two: as close as I'll get to perfection without blackmailing IdaMae for the recipe.
The boys are in love.

First step: A nice griddle. I use an All-Clad double burner griddle which is amazing. I was serving the "panycakes" (Joey's term) with sausage, so cooked those first while preparing the batter, then wiped down with paper towel.

As with most batters, I find the KitchenAid stand mixer to be a great help, but especially with this sticky batter. This is more like a cookie dough, than a pancake.

2c flour
5 tsp baking powder
1tsp salt
4 Tbsp sugar
4 Tbsp veggie oil
2 eggs
2c milk
1c pb (I use creamy)
1.5c chocolate chips (mini ones would be fine too)

UPDATE: Add flour through eggs and then mix...clean this kitchen, start the coffee.  Wait until it's little mini-peas (a la pastry dough).  THEN add milk, 1c at a time.  Once combined add PB and mix well.  Add chips if desired.

Now, you can sub PB for cream cheese.  However, cut 8oz cc into about 20? cubes.  Once added, don't mix too much.  PB is good evenly distributed, CC is best when still chunks.

It is critical to use a low temp when cooking.  I had my gas range in between 2 & 3 for the duration.
I ladle on and cook as one cooks pancakes.

Once cooked, serve with a sprinkling of PB crumbles (sugar and PB in almost equal parts combined with a pastry blender or food processor. Slightly more sugar than PB. A batch of these keeps for a while in a rubbermaid in the cabinet.) and maybe a few chocolate chips. The boys liked these traditionally topped with butter and syrup.

These are filling. This batch (for dinner) left us with leftovers (3) for Wayne's dinner the next night.

If you are lucky enough to have leftovers, store between waxed paper in a ziplock. Reheating in the toaster oven is our fave method.

Enjoy!

Love

love

[luhv]noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

–noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

One of the more basic concepts in our world is love. Even most children are aware of the word and can conclude their own meaning of it. Why is it, that some people seem to only love themselves? Not so much a stranger, but a member of your immediate family. I know better than to assimilate love and affection, I know in some cases there can be a very deep love by someone who is short on words to express it or the affection to. In these cases you see it in actions. There was a country song a few years ago about a Dad who was just this person. He always made sure Jr's car was good on fluids, checked the tires and told him to drive safe...while Mom was giving hugs and being emotional. I get that some people are not affectionate, based on either the environment they were brought up in or their own personal struggles.

Affection aside, how can you not love your children? I suppose I always thought that a parent wants what is best for their children, and grandchildren. That regardless of their means, they would try to prepare them for a great future. I think that in a case of the family business, whether it be a circus, a farm, or a chain of motels, your motivation IS your children. Growing the business so they can support their families and you did yours. Preparing your children for the roles they will fill either along side you, or instead of you. Cultivating, if you will, the next generation of both the business and the familial generation. I know for different people, this looks different. How we go at a task of the heart can vary based on our personal skill sets and comfort level in human interaction.

A few days ago, while going to pick up George's crib, I was pointing something out to Joey. He says "not now mom I'm trying to think." What are you thinking about? "I'm thinking about when I'm old enough to run the farm. I could do it for 9 years and then let my brother take over, I don't need to be the boss." Love. There it is. He already loves his brother. He has great plans for them as a duo and his best interest already in mind. Joey's a planner...much like..um...his mother:) His thought process continued and he decided that they could have their own departments they would be in charge of. Then he requested a third brother to be in charge of animals. One of our favorite local farms is run by three brothers, each with their own passion and therefore department. From the outside, we think it rocks:)

As parents, we overlook small flaws in our children, we build them up. Even in adult relationships, it makes for a much more harmonious and productive household if I build my husband up rather than tearing him down over socks on the floor and other minuscule things.

Children, like employees, need management. They are not adults because they cannot function completely on their own. They are trainees, if you will. If they worked at Cracker Barrel, they'd have no stars on their apron. While a child may be capable of certain tasks, it doesn't mean he may not need reminders, pointers, and correction. Children are curious, left to their own resources they may explore. Does that make them bad? no. However, this is where supervision comes in to play. Set clear boundaries, set up consequences, give them age appropriate freedoms, enforce the consequences. Children are a full time commitment, not part time. Complaining about a child who does not act completely as an adult, but as an exceptional NINE year old, is not fair to the child.

No child is perfect...including Joey. I spend a lot of the day training him. Make certain he's staying on task, check his diligence in chores, when his work is done properly, he is rewarded with free time. I'm certain if I just let him be, he would eat, not pick up the kitchen, the dog & cats may go hungry, he'd be in his jammies at 5:00 and probably would have watched star wars all day and not done any school work. Is that his fault? absolutely not. We train children with increasing responsibilities so that come the age of majority they are self sufficient. Due to Joey's size, he accomplishes a lot of tasks that other kids wouldn't be able to do until they were 12 or so. I like to think he's above the curve in responsibility, but that doesn't mean he isn't 9.

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

A child, is not a man. Don't criticize him for his lack of 10 years.

The Joey Story

I suppose this should have prefaced yesterday's post, but that's why "real writers" have editors, no? I tend to think that "everyone knows" the "Joey story"...but about a month ago I realized my FIL's fiance of 5 years didn't....so I guess not.
I'll cliff note the beginning.
Wayne and I met online in 1999. I was studying at Manhattan College he was home on the farm. We talked online or emailed almost every day. For 13 months. He started asking me to meet him after about 6. This is back in the day when people "just didn't meet online"...so something weirded me out about it. it may have had something to do with my 4th grade school project that said "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I wrote "NOT a farmer or a nurse."
Finally, June 7th of 2000 we met at Crossgates Mall in Albany. I in my 1993 green and tan Ford Bronco Eddie Bauer, he in his 1998 green Ford F-150 XL. We parked next to the same tree, though we met inside. The intent: dinner and a movie. The reality: we talked too long to see a movie. So it was dinner/dessert at Houlihans. He had apple pie for dessert and made me promise not to tell his mom it was better than hers:)
It was the start of something fabulous.
We spent a lot of time together over the next year.
In the spring of 01, darling Wayne started talking about "our future." In short, he wanted a minivan and kids....I was soooo not there...yet. (Funny how I now stalk Honda Odysseys.) I was busy traveling and working for my Dad. That summer I planned to be all over the place, and couldn't imagine for the life of me WANTING to be in ONE place. how boring!
and I left...a very sad guy...in April of 01.
a few weeks later I wasn't feeling well. I remember ordering Chinese to a school in Brooklyn we were working...I ordered white rice and broccoli. Tosca says "what are you pregnant" "yeah right"....
indeed I was.
awesome.
meanwhile, I live with my parents. By live I mean most nights I share a hotel room with my Dad...and when we're home it's uber "tight" too. ie: I didn't go to Walmart alone...
Around the 20th of April we (my Dad, myself and 8 ponies) headed to Saskatchewan. and. i. worked. I remember when I started hanging out with the amazing Patty Zerbini. She had two teenagers, 3 elephants, a bus, a semi and an infant....and man did she rock it.
But I couldn't do that.
The plan was to terminate.
Well. Being in a foreign country, with your father up your butt...all.the.time...there's really no where to go to even investigate.
I came home to the states a few times, but not long enough to coordinate appointments.
So I just worked my tail off and hoped nobody would notice. We ended up on another show for most of the summer and I worked alongside another awesome elephant guy. We had dinner every night, breakfast every morning, and spent all day together chatting about al-U-min-E-um and Tag Heur watches and Z-trois. It was purely a friendship though...he was actually in love with someone else...who we talked about all.the.time:) which was fine with me. She's one of my favorite people.
So we were finally home in August.
9/11 happened. We lost my cousin Jimmy.
A few days later, on my way to Virginia to scope out jobs I stopped at my Aunt & Uncles house with brownies. I gave my Uncle a hug for probably the first time in my life...and I felt the baby move for the first time.
That was a long drive to Virginia.
Then I decided adoption would be best. In student congress we had debated PBAs all.the.time and I hated the thought of it. I also thought that since Jimmy was taken, this must be God's way of bringing new life. (Not that I was all that close w/God at the time.)
So November 18th I moved to Virginia. Finally "cut the cord" and could do things on my own. I picked a family through an adoption agency and I met them at a Cracker Barrel. They had a minivan, an older boy who played soccer, and looked really lovely.
I told them I thought it was a boy and that he would be here before Christmas.
I went to get Medicaid. They didn't believe I was pregnant...(at 36 weeks) and I needed a Dr's note.
I got a job at Walmart. I put on my app that I wanted $10/hr. Well, turns out with that they needed a girl in the hardware dept so their numbers were right. Sure enough I got $10/hr...to hang picture frame hanging kits on little pegs.
Sweet.
I had a job in sales lined up at the Ford dealership in Tyson's Corner, but not until after the 1st of the year.
Well, I was pretty sure that baby was coming. On a Sunday I drove over to the hospital...had to convince the L&D staff that I was pregnant...They ended up sending me home b/c he wasn't ready.
Tuesday I went back. I got there around 3:30. They decided to induce me at 38 weeks.
I had told one person by now. Two, but one was drunk at the time and didn't remember. The one I told was because I knew I'd need an emergency contact at the hospital...and i knew he would use discretion, but call my parents if something was really wrong.
They started the induction at 6ish...and things progressed smoothly. I remember wondering which birthday he'd be born on...that day was a dear friend's bday--genious...and the drunk guy I had told. The other was also a great guy. So I decided that if some qualities are related to the day you are born...either would be good.
Well...I had to wait for the Dr. Who was...well...kind of a jerk. Joey was born just after midnight.
The "family" came up the next day. I did hold him and give him a bottle...and was surprised how "chill" he was. His apgars were 9 & 10...looked like blonde and blue as I would have figured.
I had to give him a name.
Since it wouldn't be "used" I names him James Woods Naughton...after my cousin who died. I thought it would be nice for it to be "somewhere."
Finally I was out of there. I only had Canadian money and convinced the guy at the gas station to let me buy gas with it:)
I went home and showered...oh that was great!:)
I got my mail. A Christmas card from Wayne's mom. If she only knew.
I was starving.
I went to Cracker Barrel.
There was a man in the parking lot--senior citizen who also had a truck. We chatted a bit in the parking lot and by the time we got to the door he asked if I'd eat with him.
Sure, why not.
He was a nice guy. I liked him. I remember talking about his wife he lost and how he still RVs because she always loved it.
Then I went back to visit the baby. I brought him my stuffed eeyore and held him. One of the nursery nurses said "you'll take him home"...i thought--yea right.
Back home online I started researching car seats...but didn't have the money or anything. So it wasn't happening.
a week later i drove home from virginia for Elizabeth's birthday. On the way home in PA I had these awful cramps after eating baby carrots. I figured it was things going back into place...or maybe I overdid it with 1500 crunches/day...who knew?
So I got home, picked up Elizabeth from school, etc.
After dinner I was still crampy and couldn't get comfortable. But my Dad wanted to go to Walmart and do some Christmas shopping. So we went. I just about got through HBAs and couldn't do anymore. me. I couldn't shop! we checked out with the few things I bought and I gave my dad the keys to my truck. At that point, he said we're going to the hospital. (I NEVER let him drive my truck.)
So we got to St Peter's and while he was in the hallway I explained to the Dr that I had a baby but nobody knew and we had to keep it that way. Fine, no prob-I was 21.
Ended up being pancreatitis/gall bladder.
Well we had to wait until some levels went down so they could operate. So every day they would print out my labs for my mom. She knew what they meant...I certainly didn't.
Well one day there was a new nurse who printed out my whole report...including the part that said "post partum" My mom IMed me from home and asked what that meant. pssht. must be a typo.
Wayne and his mom even came to visit me. Isn't that adorable:) He had another gf at the time...but he still gave me a hug when his mom "oh so strategically" left us alone:)
So surgery is done, I go home.
My mom comes downstairs and knows I can't lie to her face and says "so what does that mean?"
oh crap...game over.
i went to the safe and got out the footprints from the hospital.
and she cried. and said "we have to tell your father"
really? I made it THIS FAR without telling him.
So...we told my father. He said "we're going to get that baby"
oh.
we are?
um...I should tell Wayne.
It was a power outage so I only had my laptop battery and dial-up to communicate. So I emailed him...btw, we have a kid....this is what I'm naming him...i don't want money, but you may have a relationship if you wish.
I immediately changed his name to Joseph Patrick Naughton...after my favorite Uncle. Since Uncle Joe is either, Joe, JoJo or Joseph...Joey got Joey:)
On Jan 5th we picked Joey up from his adoptive family. It wasn't final in VA yet...i had to go back down and go to court after 30 days. I had a 30 day no questions asked window.
Wayne emailed back initially saying that he'd be down on Monday to meet him and we could go from there.
Before Monday came there was an email...he may have dictated it, but didn't type it. Saying that it would be better off if he didn't get involved so he wouldn't be pulled between two houses, etc.
Seemed weird but whatever. (Turns out his father told him it wouldn't be a good idea.)
If Patty could do it with elephants and a baby, you bet your butt I could. screw him.
At 5weeks old. Joey was on the road with the circus. My friend Sadie had just had her son Samat. I remember being at the UPS in Latham picking up a toy order w/my ryder truck and Sadie's husband. I called Pierre to tell him. He was excited. We talked briefly b/c he had to go back on with the elephants. That's the last time I spoke to him. He was killed a year or so later.
Sadie's husband died in a tragic accident a month later. we never know, do we?
Joey's first few months of life were spent in hotels and trucks. Might have something to do with his current truck obsession:) At 15m old he was pushing boxes 10 times his size down the hallway.
I ended up w/a bf. and made a life somehow. Until I was tired of his mooching butt and was done. (I worked...he didn't...and didn't do anything at home)
Well now, I'm living on my own in Saratoga. Working 65hrs/week at a trucking company and Joey needs daycare and insurance. He was almost 3.
I went to the county to get child care assistance. I was told I had to file for child support.
I had no other option.
So I did.
His father told him to get DNA testing...so we did.
Then we had the court date for support. He had a lawyer, I didn't. I told his lawyer he could have him up to 50% of the time and save on child care, etc.
The lawyer told Wayne that I was great.
On the way out of court his lawyer says "you two should really talk" and we did. We talked for 20 minutes or so in the parking lot. He had a bit of a cold but said he'd be over on Monday. I was hoping this Monday would come.
Well he came over...hung out with Joey. Joey liked looking at his truck through the window.
the next day Joey and I were out running errands and saw a blue/green F-250 and he says "that's my Daddy's truck"...and I cried. I had never mentioned the "D" word...
We've been together ever since.

Was it planned?

Ok here goes. My least favorite question having to do with pregnancy.
"Was it planned?"
Our answer? very much so. In reality...who cares? We've owned our house for almost five years, have 3 vehicles younger than our oldest child, pay our bills and function as adults....we're even married now.
I'm a planner...there's NO DENYING that! Which is one of the top reasons that in April of 07 I had my tubes "tied." At the time we didn't see how we could "ever" afford another kid...or manage a baby with our schedules. There was also the "what would they say" element. When Joey was born I remember Mom Peg telling me..."we love Joey we're glad he's here, but don't let it happen again" ok great.
Never one to want to disappoint those around me, I lead the campaign to shut down the factory and avoid the "risk" of another child.
God has a funny way of working on people. That was April. In September I had my car accident. After about 2 days of being home due to the injuries...I started dreaming of another child. I read the "tightwad gazettes" and I remember clearly a line in there where the author had been watching a program on tv when her youngest was an infant, and they were saying how it's "impossible" to survive on one income "these days" (In the mid-80s). She said she shook her fist at the TV and told that guy "No it's not impossible and I'm going to do it"....
It was then I started dropping hints to Wayne.
There's a few reasons I desired a second child. First of all, I think children are a blessing...and who wouldn't want to receive blessings? Secondly, though we have a child. We never "had a baby"...sure in the technical sense of the term...the DNA is there. Joey was 3 before Wayne met him. There was no Dr appts, ultrasounds, maternity clothes, baby showers, there was no 1st birthday party...there was no mommy, daddy, Joey moments...there was a big empty hole. Joey has no clue and is convinced he rode home in Daddy's new truck when he was 5m old...but still for me...it's an empty space.
I wanted to "do it together"...
Just when I thought that maybe he was starting to agree...12/28/09 was a bittersweet day. Wayne's godson DJ was born. I love DJ and his parents, please don't misunderstand. All the excitement and phonecalls and the "he's arrived" wonderful chaos, just hit me like a ton of bricks. i drove myself to the hospital....and home again when I had Joey. That night Wayne told me "we made a decision, we need to live with it" and I cried...
I was bummed for a while. But apparently didn't give up.
On Mother's Day Eve 2010, a month after we were married, I was all the way up in our room, Joey and Wayne were down in the shop in the basement. They wanted to know what I wanted for mother's day. Joey kept bringing ideas all the down and came back up with a "nope, something else" So finally I made a list. i shot for the moon:) Including "German Sheppard Puppy, Compound Miter Saw, Flowers, 2-3 more kids" Well Joey brought the list down...then back up with some lines through a few things...like the puppy and the saw....and a circle around the 2-3. So I went back down this time and said "what does this mean?" He said "well I don't know how many" yay!:) So on mother's day he took us to lunch at Uno's and bought me a lowe's gift card...with flowers on it:) We started discussing names.
I was under the impression that I could have a reversal of my procedure.
August 28th I found out, from a Dr who preforms reversals every day, that the Drs advertising "my kind" of reversal had a 5% success rate in 3 years. Insert knife into heart.
Then I remembered that the dr that did my procedure had moved to a fertility clinic before our final follow-up. i poked around their site and started explaining the option to Wayne for ivf. Initially he thought he didn't know anything about it...but with cow-reproduction he knew more than me.
After a few days I called to schedule a consult. Since i was already a patient I got in on September 23rd for the consult. (I was the first of their clients to ask what temp extra embabies are stored at, because Wayne said we could just buy a vet freezer if the temp was right, rather than pay for storage:) Our cycle began on October 4th...with a grant of $3500 worth of FREE medicine. I gave myself one or two injections daily (a miracle in and of itself) to stimulate egg production and stop them from being released. On October 23rd...the dr retrieved my eggs...11 all together...and fertilized them. 5 days later two precious embryos, the only two surviving and genetically normal were placed back inside. 4.75 days later, I started testing positive on home preg tests...and the following week a positive blood test at the fertility clinic. followed by a series of 4 weekly ultrasounds before a discharge to my OB's office.
So yes...this child was very much planned. That doesn't mean it didn't require the hand of God to make that child implant and begin to grow. Joey wasn't planned by us...God had different plans.
Just because we think we're planning something, doesn't me we are really in control anyway. Sure we had to enlist Drs this time...but they can't make a baby "stick" and grow....that's still in God's hands. There are women who try 7 cycles of ivf before conceiving...if at all!
We're delighted to be pregnant. We are very much enjoying the whole experience this time.
Do I wish we could leave the whole process up to the Lord? sure thing. But it's my fault the factory was shut down...so we need to give him the tools...and He's used them for His glory!
So "planned" or not...this mother's day our second son will be in the final stages of growth:-)

How long has THAT been there?

So last week the boys and I went to a pancake breakfast. When we got there I had to pee...of course. I happened to glance in the utilitarian mirror and saw this freaken skunk stripe on top of my head. What the heck? I've had scattered greys for a few years now. About 2 years ago I was walking down the street with my Uncle Joe right behind me. He says "Um...excuse me Miss Naughton...what is that on top of your head?" From one of the few people who has a clear view of the top of my head:)
So I sit down at the table and ask Wayne "How long has that been there?" he was trying so hard to avoid the question or come up with a clever answer that I knew it must have been there for a while. OMG! I followed up with "is it always that visible or did I comb my hair different?" He says "maybe you did comb it different" (not buying that either)
So...um. I have a grey streak. eew.
idk. the scattered greys really didn't bother me much...they kinda blended or looked more like highlights. This freaken thing looks like I took a bleached soaked toothbrush and ran it through my hair.
I'm really not traditionally a vain person...or even someone that gets more than two haircuts a year. I did have highlights done before the wedding...because Aunt Mary told me too. (Maybe Uncle Joe had looked at the top of my head more recently?)
To top it off the night after the breakfast...I had a dream about a skunk and a raccoon. Not funny....sooo not funny.
I'm only 30...I don't think I'm ready for a streak. I know I'm not.
Nor am I really ready to commit to a lifetime of hair crap. However, I suppose I can't have both, right?
30....i'm 30. I do say "15-20 years ago" and remember that era vividly. I do look at high school kids and realize they are half my age....and kinda feel bad for them.
3o isn't old enough for a grey streak. I've only been married less than a year...and only on bambino #2.
Is it post-accident chronic pain? did that doom me?
Either way...I'm not ready for it.
I suppose it's time to start researching organic-ish coloring solutions that won't turn the baby colors....because I can't wait until July...
Barb, I'm coming to visit...make it go away!

A house full of boys!

Well, other than the dog, cat and cat-niece, this is such a boy house.
Today the boys and I went to a pancake open house sale thing at Walker's Farm Home & Tack. i was kinda psyched because I knew that other than shovels and wheel barrows there is half the store dedicated to clothes, gifts, toys and such. We walked in the door and Joey says "You are not buying anything for the baby"...like it's his money:)
We had breakfast first, then shopped for farm stuff...then went "to the other side." For such an "aggie" store...my oh my did they have a lot of girl clothes! I really didn't find any shirt/outfit i wanted for the baby. Some that were cute and I'd be ok with, but nothing I "had to have."
We went to look for boots for my wonderful hubby. Back and forth looking at a few different ones. He keeps coming back to this one pair, shoving his hand in them, deciding that it should be comfortable....on and on. Finally I took it from him and asked the attendant for his size. He's smiling asking "oh I guess I'll try them on?" I said well you need to stop making out with them and see how your feet like them:) He did like them...in the size I've been covertly buying him for 2yrs now..:)
I did find adorable cowboy boots for the newest little man...they had a few options, and we narrowed it down, but...I thought I'd be able to find them cheaper on ebay....what kid wears out infant size cowboy boots? Yet...I make kids with big feet. So I have a feeling we'll just get George his first boots next year at the breakfast...then we'll know they fit. (and they weren't any cheaper online..) They also had cute barn/rain boots that looked like cows...Wayne even thought those were cute! (that's saying a lot!)
After he decided on his boots he said to Joey "let's go look at the toys"....um...Joey's been an only child/grandchild/nephew for too long. He had everything...really. Wayne was like "how about this" got it "ooh what about this "I have it in die cast and bigger"...oh. after about 5 of these situations, Wayne says "Do you want to go to the other side and get that shovel?" his face lit up!
So Joey got a shovel and a wheelbarrow for the small calf barn and was just about the happiest kid ever pushing that wheelbarrow out to the truck.
I told Wayne...wait a year...you'll have someone else who is excited about new tractors...not that we need to buy ANY....EVER! We have enough for 10 boys. BUT...he plays with them, takes care of them, and they are contained.
I did find a cute puzzle for George...it's a Melissa & Doug chunky wooden puzzle with tractors/construction equipment...and another with a farm animals. Those we will need. Joey's puzzles are long gone.

But we don't need it today....he's not into puzzles yet:)

Not doing a menu

I'm procrastinating. I have a brain injury. It sucks. However, I've learned to cope and manage and at least get the house somewhat organized and properly running. To do that there are a GAZILLION systems in place. Each month ends with lists for the next. Starting with menu, groceries, updated inventory, then bills to be paid, upcoming expenses, projects for the month. I like to have it all done by the 1st of the month and tend to do my once monthly shopping a few days later. (Using up leftover perishables in the beginning of the month before starting with fresh.)

March....not happening.

I think I'm still convinced that March shouldn't happen until the snow is gone, or maybe it just shouldn't be here yet. Being away for over 2weeks in Feb, sure made that month fly by.

Well other than getting some milk and bread when we got back from vaca, I hadn't gone grocery shopping since around January 6th or 7th. Yes, really. Now, not that there was "NO Food" in the house, but when you live solely off the pantry, it feels not-creative and repetitive. Either way it was bugging me and I needed variety. I hadn't been to Walmart since October. It was my own little ban on stupid clientele and dumb management. i doubt they missed me.

With the ever increasing fuel prices, and our desire to cut expenses it's been decided that I should try to limit my trips out and about. Thursday was a busy day, I had Drs all morning, a stop at cracker barrel, picked up Joey at the farm, went to get his haircut, then home. Well, I had pics we took on Wednesday that we needed ON a poster for Saturday that I forgot to send over for printing on Wednesday night. Sooo. I went online to send them to Target...and they no longer do 1hr 5x7s:( bummer. Walmart does. So I sent them over and 20 minutes later I got a text that they were done.

Well, since we'd be there "anyway" I somehow decided we could get groceries. I tried to stick to the staples and the "normal" list. It was weird. Now, 4 days later I still don't have a menu or a freaken clue what we're eating for dinner. It's bugging the crap out of me. Which is normally a good motivator to get things done. But. I've never done it this backwards and I think part of me doesn't know "where to start" and therefore I'm avoiding it. I have a few ideas, but certainly not 24 more days worth.

The house is quiet, we have nowhere to go...the boy is out shoveling...and here I am blogging about not making my menu. I suppose that's a step up from avoidance...at least I'm acknowledging it now.....right?

George Thomas

This wiggly kicky guy inside of me has had a name for a long time...before he was even conceived, he had his name. So why? Why George Thomas?
First of all, George Edwin Woods was Wayne's grandfather. He was an awesome man that we loved a lot, and miss so much. Oddly. My Great Grandfater was George E Woods too. We're just that organized....or weird:) I promise the roots don't cross anywhere...just strange similarities!
Thomas, first off, is Wayne's Dad and Grandfather's name, and Wayne's middle name. Grandpa & Great Grandpa are Thomas Alexander.
I also have a Great Uncle Tom, and cousins Tom.
Early in the fall I was researching names, out of boredom, we already had ours. I discovered that George means "a farmer", and Thomas means "a twin." I cried instantly:) At that time, we were hoping for twins. Boy twins would have been George & Tommy. As the Lord would have it, our two wonderful strong embryos were a boy and a girl. They were both implanted, and two weeks later it looked like both were there, by the next week there was only one baby growing. Regardless of if our baby girl ever "stuck"...she was in there with him...so on a very technical level...he is a twin...maybe only in my heart.
George was the slightly smaller embryo but was growing strong, apparently he continued to do so:) It's amazing to see his growth between ultrasounds. Weeks 5 through 8 were all met with an ultrasound where he grew from a black space to a gummy bear:) Week 18 he looked somewhat like an alien, and in week 20 Daddy says "He's sure starting to look more like a person" ;-) We like to think he's a very cute little person:)
Today I bought him clothes. He'll have some growing to do in between now and when he wears them, but nonetheless, he has some clothes:) It sure has been a long time since I've folded clothes that small! Joey's in a mens medium now and 32-34/30s! These are a LOT smaller:) I've pretty much avoided anything in "newborn" except for one biggish looking outfit I picked up today. Joey wasn't one for staying small long...(obviously)...and I can't imagine his brother being any different:)
ha, I just looked over to George's little pile of clothes...they're sitting on a Thomas magazine...and only the word "Thomas" is visible:)
Thanks God for our little farm twin:)