Love

love

[luhv]noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

–noun

1.

a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2.

a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.

One of the more basic concepts in our world is love. Even most children are aware of the word and can conclude their own meaning of it. Why is it, that some people seem to only love themselves? Not so much a stranger, but a member of your immediate family. I know better than to assimilate love and affection, I know in some cases there can be a very deep love by someone who is short on words to express it or the affection to. In these cases you see it in actions. There was a country song a few years ago about a Dad who was just this person. He always made sure Jr's car was good on fluids, checked the tires and told him to drive safe...while Mom was giving hugs and being emotional. I get that some people are not affectionate, based on either the environment they were brought up in or their own personal struggles.

Affection aside, how can you not love your children? I suppose I always thought that a parent wants what is best for their children, and grandchildren. That regardless of their means, they would try to prepare them for a great future. I think that in a case of the family business, whether it be a circus, a farm, or a chain of motels, your motivation IS your children. Growing the business so they can support their families and you did yours. Preparing your children for the roles they will fill either along side you, or instead of you. Cultivating, if you will, the next generation of both the business and the familial generation. I know for different people, this looks different. How we go at a task of the heart can vary based on our personal skill sets and comfort level in human interaction.

A few days ago, while going to pick up George's crib, I was pointing something out to Joey. He says "not now mom I'm trying to think." What are you thinking about? "I'm thinking about when I'm old enough to run the farm. I could do it for 9 years and then let my brother take over, I don't need to be the boss." Love. There it is. He already loves his brother. He has great plans for them as a duo and his best interest already in mind. Joey's a planner...much like..um...his mother:) His thought process continued and he decided that they could have their own departments they would be in charge of. Then he requested a third brother to be in charge of animals. One of our favorite local farms is run by three brothers, each with their own passion and therefore department. From the outside, we think it rocks:)

As parents, we overlook small flaws in our children, we build them up. Even in adult relationships, it makes for a much more harmonious and productive household if I build my husband up rather than tearing him down over socks on the floor and other minuscule things.

Children, like employees, need management. They are not adults because they cannot function completely on their own. They are trainees, if you will. If they worked at Cracker Barrel, they'd have no stars on their apron. While a child may be capable of certain tasks, it doesn't mean he may not need reminders, pointers, and correction. Children are curious, left to their own resources they may explore. Does that make them bad? no. However, this is where supervision comes in to play. Set clear boundaries, set up consequences, give them age appropriate freedoms, enforce the consequences. Children are a full time commitment, not part time. Complaining about a child who does not act completely as an adult, but as an exceptional NINE year old, is not fair to the child.

No child is perfect...including Joey. I spend a lot of the day training him. Make certain he's staying on task, check his diligence in chores, when his work is done properly, he is rewarded with free time. I'm certain if I just let him be, he would eat, not pick up the kitchen, the dog & cats may go hungry, he'd be in his jammies at 5:00 and probably would have watched star wars all day and not done any school work. Is that his fault? absolutely not. We train children with increasing responsibilities so that come the age of majority they are self sufficient. Due to Joey's size, he accomplishes a lot of tasks that other kids wouldn't be able to do until they were 12 or so. I like to think he's above the curve in responsibility, but that doesn't mean he isn't 9.

1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

A child, is not a man. Don't criticize him for his lack of 10 years.